


With or Without You

by HiKaRanko



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brother Feels, Crying Hiro, Gen, Hiro Needs a Hug, Hiro is a Little Shit, Loss of Parent(s), Parent-Child Relationship, Sad Hiro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-07 04:18:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4249011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiKaRanko/pseuds/HiKaRanko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiro Hamada never knew his parents. But by some crazy twist of fate that led to him also getting his brother back, Hiro's about to meet them. It doesn't go as well as everyone hoped.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wish Granted

**Author's Note:**

> This is a collection of drabbles, something that popped into my brain after talking to a friend about what it would be like if somehow, through some kind of magical circumstance or whatever, Hiro was able to meet his parents. It started out as a one page bit, and then it just kept going and I couldn't leave it alone until it had an ending... so here it is. :)

Hiro Hamada never knew his parents.

He never knew them, and that never once bothered him. Tadashi had never really talked about them much, just brought them up on rare occasions with something about what they might think of a decision or what they might say to make Hiro feel bad. But it never affected Hiro, not in the way that his brother probably hoped it would. His parents had become little more than an idea, a vague notion that explained how he'd been born into the world, and that was it. Of course they'd _existed_. If Hiro and Tadashi existed, then naturally their parents did. It just never mattered one way or the other. Maybe he'd liked the _idea_ of it once, to be able to have people he could call “mom” and “dad”, but that was about the extent of it. Hiro had enough in the way of family, with just Tadashi and Aunt Cass. That had been enough. That had _always_ been enough.

But then some kind of “magic” happened, and Hiro had wished for Tadashi to be alive again. And Tadashi wished for their parents to be alive again, too.

It had never occurred to Hiro that Tadashi would miss their parents that much. He'd assumed that Tadashi, like himself, had come to accept their tiny family for what it was. But now that he thought about it, Tadashi hadn't been much younger than Hiro when they lost their parents, and Hiro had felt like his entire life went through the grinder when Tadashi died. It must have been worse for Tadashi, to lose his parents and to still have his three-year-old brother to look after at the same time. So of course he missed them. Of course he wanted them back, given the chance.

But it was weird. It was so weird to watch Tadashi run into the arms of the perfect strangers who'd shown up out of nowhere, crying and calling them “Mom” and “Dad”. It was weird to watch them dote on him, to press their hands to his face and talk about how much he'd grown, how they didn't even recognize him, how happy and healthy he looked. Tadashi had turned into a little kid in an adult body, and it seemed like he was happier than Hiro could ever remember him being before. And Hiro was happy for him, even smiled a little to himself as he watched them have their reunion.

At least until Tadashi turned around, wiping at his face with his sleeve, and pointed over at Hiro.

It wasn't the gesture so much as it was the wide-eyed stares that suddenly turned on him. It sent a jolt through Hiro's system and his entire body went rigid with panic. He didn't know those people. He didn't know them, and yet they were giving him these _looks_ that he didn't know how to process and it had him panicking a little. Hiro was terrible enough with strangers as it was, and now to have ones who probably loved him dearly - as much as Aunt Cass did, if not more – wasn't something Hiro was prepared to deal with.

They started moving closer and Hiro automatically took a step back. If it weren't for the happy look on Tadashi's face, if it weren't for the fact that Hiro knew, logically, that these people were his parents, he may just have completely shut down on them or ran away or something. He forced himself to stand there and let them look him over, press their hands on his shoulders and against his cheeks, and he watched without showing too much awkwardness as the woman shed tears – _actual tears_ – and murmured something about her baby growing up so much and so well.

He stiffened even more when the woman – his mom – pulled him into a hug and continued to cry over him. As if strangers that were actually parents wasn't awkward enough for him, he now had to deal with being hugged like this. Hiro looked up at Tadashi, wide-eyed and confused, but his brother was much too busy being happy for this family reunion. For an instant, Hiro wondered if maybe this was something that Tadashi had always wanted, had always wished for: his family finally being complete.

Hiro's family had _always_ been complete.

And then suddenly the man – Dad – was joining the hug and Hiro was crushed between two strangers and Tadashi did nothing to help. In fact, he made it worse by wrapping the entire group of them up in his arms, and Hiro could only let out a little squeak of complaint. He tried to wiggle around to get a look at each face in turn – mom, dad, brother – and then just frowned. This was his family. His _whole_ family, apparently. And it was full of strangers.

And suddenly Hiro just really wanted to run and hide behind Aunt Cass.

 


	2. Breakfast

Breakfast wasn't going to be the same anymore.

It used to be a tiny table set for three in the dining room, and then it was an even tinier table set for two in the kitchen. And now it's a giant table set for five, and there's so much food laid out across its surface, Hiro couldn't even figure out where to begin. Actually, it started with not knowing where to sit. Usually he sat next to Tadashi and across from Aunt Cass. But once he got down to the dining room the morning after their parents had come back, Tadashi was at one end of the table with their parents on either side of him, their attention wholly fixed on him while he spoke, Aunt Cass was still up and bringing things to the table. Hiro could either sit next to one of his parents, or on the opposite end of the table, across from Tadashi.

It was weird.

He just kind of lingered in the doorway for a minute, not for a very long time but long enough that it was clearly awkward for him. He forced himself away from the doorway and moved before anyone could notice or comment on it, making a wide arc around the table, to take a seat on the opposite end of the table. Once there, he glanced over at Tadashi to see what he thought of it... but Tadashi was too busy telling his parents stories about college and Baymax or whatever to even notice.

Even Aunt Cass was part of the merriment of the reunion. She exchanged old jokes with Mom like they'd been doing it for years – which figures, with them being sisters and all – and talking about how different Tadashi was now from when he'd been in diapers. Apparently _that's_ hilarious, and it got Tadashi to turn red in embarrassment and everyone was laughing so hard they probably couldn't breathe. They teased Tadashi for being so much like Dad when it came to girls, and both the men were so embarrassed, but there wasn't a thing they could say to defend themselves.

It looked like fun.

Hiro just watched them for a moment, confused and uncertain, and then simply decided that he needed to actually have breakfast. He had to wonder if the stories ever ended, or if they just went on forever. But then he realized that even if they _did_ end eventually, they'd find other things to talk about or laugh about. Not that it mattered to Hiro. He caught his aunt's eye once, and she tried to wave him over to their end of the table with a bright grin, but Hiro just smiled back and shook his head. These were all stories and jokes from before he was even born, and he really didn't have anything helpful to contribute. But at least everyone looked happy enough.

The table was so much _louder_ this way. It was a happy kind of loud, but still loud in a way Hiro wasn't used to. Every now and again he glanced up from his plate to see what topic they'd jumped to this time, and unsurprisingly it was always something that he knew nothing about. With the way that kept up, Hiro finished up his breakfast before anyone else had even swallowed more than two mouthfuls.

He wouldn't bother them, though. Everyone was having a good time with- with Mom and Dad being back. And that was fine, really. Hiro glanced at each of them as he stood from his seat, half-wondering if they'd even notice him, and when nothing happened to change the festive mood in the air, he took his plate and his utensils over to the sink to rinse them off. He didn't even really have to be quiet when he left to go back up to his room.

By the time anyone noticed that Hiro wasn't at the table, he'd long since showered, changed, and gone out to the garage.


	3. Episode

It was getting bad again, and Hiro knew it.

He could feel it in the way he got way too anxious whenever his parents were in the room, or anywhere nearby for that matter. He'd taken to quickly exiting rooms when he noticed them there, or if he absolutely needed to say something to Aunt Cass or Tadashi, he'd take the longest route possible through the room if it meant he wouldn't be getting too close to them by doing so. It was awkward, and his discomfort was extremely obvious in a really bad way, and Hiro knew that his parents weren't at all happy about it. They never said anything, never confronted him or asked him about it, but that was almost just as bad.

It wasn't like he didn't talk to them when the situation called for it. They made occasional small talk over meals, about school and projects or whatever, but whether Hiro was cognizant of it or not his responses tended to be short and succinct, not leaving a whole lot of room to elaborate. And whenever they tried to get more out of him, Hiro tended to shrink back a little and started to talk way too fast. He could see his parents exchange looks whenever this happened, and that just made Hiro feel worse.

Yeah. It was bad.

The real problem happened when Aunt Cass scolded him for it, telling him that he needed to be nicer to _his parents_ , and when it had caused Tadashi to give Hiro an angry look when their dad awkwardly excused himself from the room. It was jarring behavior, and it made Hiro sick to think about it. He didn't even know how to fix it. His parents made him nervous, these people who seemed to love him for absolutely no reason, and he didn't know how to start loving them back. He had no idea who they were, so it felt like he was being asked to care about his personal stalkers. It just wasn't working.

So that afternoon, he escaped. He dragged Baymax out of the garage before Tadashi and their dad could get there and start going over his programming for the five millionth time, got them both into their super suits, and took off into the sky so that they could just sit together on top of a wind turbine. Hiro stared silently out over the city, his arms wrapped around his knees, trying desperately to let the fact that he was sitting up there with Baymax be enough to make him feel better, to stave off the episode of spiraling depression for a moment longer.

He should've known better. Baymax kept scanning him and offering up medical advice for how to treat his symptoms, but he just didn't want to hear it. Even if his friends _were_ contacted, they wouldn't be able to find him up here without Baymax's help, and Baymax wasn't about to leave his “primary patient” while he was in the middle of a depressive episode. Eventually Baymax ran out of treatment methods to recite for him, and Hiro could hear him tilt his head a little the way he did when he seemed to be considering his options.

“Hiro. Is there anything I can do to help you?”

He bit his lip, his gaze dropping to his hands. A call from Tadashi popped up on the heads up display of his helmet, which he quickly dismissed. In fact, he turned the display off completely in favor of pulling the entire visor up and getting some real air on his face. He knew doing that would just make Tadashi worry, but... Hiro just couldn't deal with it at that moment. There was a lecture behind that call, or a scolding, or _something_ that would just end up making him feel worse about the whole parent thing, and he really didn't want it.

“I don't know, buddy,” he said eventually with a sigh. “I just don't know.”

It was too much change, too fast. Hiro shut his eyes and drew in a deep breath, letting the cool air wash over his skin, hoping to high heaven that the feeling would take all his anxiety and frustration away. It didn't.

“It is recommended to talk about your feelings of anxiety or distress.” More helpful commentary from the nurse robot that just made Hiro sigh. He'd suggested that already. Hiro hadn't responded to it then. “I am always here to listen if you need me, Hiro.”

“Sure. Thanks, Baymax.”

But Hiro didn't think there was anything in Baymax's database about learning to love your own parents.

 

 


	4. Avoidance

“Where've you been?! I've been trying to call you for hours!”

Hiro frowned at his brother as he reached the top of the first flight of stairs into the living room area, fiddling with the zipper of his hoodie. Great words to come home to, really. He knew that Tadashi only meant it out of concern, and maybe Hiro was just imagining the anger in his tone, but either way it immediately sapped the energy right out of him. Automatically he found himself zipping his hoodie back up to his chin, despite the fact that he'd just come back inside from the cold, and averting his eyes.

“I was just out, okay?” He waved his brother off, looking toward the stairs that led to their room. That was where he wanted to go, and right now Tadashi was in his way.

“You could've said something. We were all worried something might've happened to you!”

He shook his head at that, trying to edge his way around Tadashi to get to the stairs. “I'm fine. I was just out with Baymax, okay? Relax.”

Clearly Tadashi had other plans, stepping more into Hiro's way and even reaching out to hold onto his wrist to stop him in his tracks. “You could've answered my calls. You could've texted me to let me know where you were.”

Tadashi’s grip wasn't rough or anything, but it sent an alarmed jolt through Hiro's system that generally only happened with people he didn't know. And it occurred to him in that second that he didn't feel safe like this, even if it _was_ Tadashi he was dealing with. When had that happened? When had Hiro started putting up full defenses against his own brother, the one person he knew he could trust with his life? When did he stop feeling safe at home?

Oh right. Hiro remembered now, as his gaze moved out to the side and caught sight of his mom and dad sitting at the dining room table, watching them argue at the top of the stairs. He felt his face redden a little bit in shame, and then turned away again with a shake of his head.

“It doesn't matter. I'm fine, right?”

“That's not the point,” Tadashi pressed on, keeping Hiro in place for another moment. “Mom and Dad were hoping to–”

“I already ate.”

Hiro wasn’t even sure if Tadashi was going to say that they wanted to go out to dinner, but at that point he just needed to cut him off before he could finish. It was a lie. He was starving, but he really didn’t want to eat together with Mom and Dad. What he wanted was to go up to his room and work on some schematics for an upgrade that he might actually think of once he put pencil to paper. He just didn’t want to be around them. He didn’t want to feel those concerned stares on him.

Though right at that moment it was _Tadashi_ staring at him, silent, concerned, and… slightly disapproving. And Hiro knew he _really_ didn’t want that. With a frown, Hiro's gaze darted off to one side again as he pulled his arm back and stepped away. It was easy, now that he’d upset Tadashi enough that he loosened his hold on him. Tadashi knew he was lying. Tadashi always seemed to know when he was lying.

He had to fight down the unease that rose like bile up into his throat, and when his eyes found his parents on the other side of the room again, standing now as though they were about to come over and do something, a sense of panic joined the mix of emotions he was experiencing. Sick and insecure and frustrated, and now panic on top of it all. Hiro could practically hear Baymax's voice chiming in about how dramatically his heart rate had increased, or what his neurotransmitter levels looked like. Not that he needed him to. He was pretty well aware of it.

Before Tadashi could get in another word, bring up another argument, say anything else that would make him just feel like a worse human being, Hiro was moving again. The last thing he wanted was to know exactly how deeply he'd disappointed his brother. And he definitely had to do it before his parents came in to try to help, before Mom could say anything with that soothing tone of voice that she used every time she tried to talk to Hiro, before Dad could make some terrible joke that was clearly meant to be an ice breaker. Hiro had to get out of there.

“I-I’ve got homework, anyway.” And that was all he said as he pushed past his brother and fled up the stairs.


	5. Night Out

Everyone was always busy now, and lately Hiro actually liked it that way.

Tadashi was spending more and more long nights in the lab, occasionally with their dad since he was so excited about what he was working on.  Aunt Cass and their mom ran the cafe, which kept them really busy but still in high spirits.  That all worked out for Hiro, especially since he’d gotten much more into having city patrols at night with Baymax and whoever in the team was available that night.  Even when everyone else was busy, Hiro took Baymax out for a quick flight through the streets of San Fransokyo.  If nothing else it was relaxing, and those were the only times when he felt like everything was okay again.  He loved flying.  He loved it a little more everyday, and everyday he pushed his return home time a little later in the night.

One night he decided, against Baymax’s advisement, that it would be okay to come home closer to dawn.  Hiro didn't know what he'd expected to happen when he went home.

Once he got a look at his phone - which he’d disconnected from his helmet earlier in the night in a fit of rebellion - he realized he had 84 missed calls and over 50 unread texts.  As he scrolled through them he realized they were all from different people: Wasabi, Honey Lemon, Aunt Cass, Tadashi, two unknown numbers that he assumed must be his parents (he hadn’t even realized that he never saved their numbers).  Most of them said essentially the same things. “Where are you?” “Call me _NOW_.” “Are you okay?”

The last text he had was from Fred, sent just after 3:30 that morning.  “Just told your bro that you and the big guy spent the night at mi casa.  Everything cool little dude?  Text me!”

For a long time, Hiro just stood in the middle of the garage and stared at Fred’s message with a frown.  It was times like this when he was unbelievably grateful for the fact that Fred was just… Fred.  The kind of guy who would cover for any of his friends for anything without even having to think about it or ask.  He’d just spent all night flying around the city with Baymax without a single thought in his head, making every single person who cared about him worry themselves to death, and Fred just took it on himself to say something to get everyone to calm down.

Drawing in a deep breath, Hiro hit reply and started texting back.  He could only hope that Fred was still up and by his phone to get his text, asking if it was really okay for him and Baymax to come over.  It was nearly 6am and it had been hours since the message was sent, but it was still worth a shot.  It really should’ve been more surprising that Fred answered within minutes, with “Yeah man, I’ll ask Heathcliff to get us pancakes for b-fast.  Pancake party!”

He couldn’t help but smile as he tucked his phone away, then turned back around to climb up onto Baymax’s back.  “We’re going to Fred’s house, buddy.”

“Hiro.  You have not slept in- forty-one hours and nineteen minutes.  I recommend you return to your room for a proper night’s rest.”

He just shook his head as the magnets in his knees and hands locked into place.  “I’ll sleep when we get there. I'll sleep _so well_ once we get there, okay?”

Baymax just looked at him for a moment, and Hiro was sure he had to be scanning him.  Especially since after another moment, he turned around and started to move back out into the alleyway so he could take off.  Hiro chose not to question it, since it ultimately meant that he was going to Fred’s place - which he really should just start calling Big Hero 6 headquarters at that point.  It was a safe place.  Safe from villains, safe from the public eye (somehow) - and safe from his house full of strangers and the sad, disappointed looks that he got from them all day.  Fred wouldn’t have any problem with Hiro vegging out and reading comic books while eating syrup-loaded pancakes for as long as he wanted.  For as long as it took before he felt better about facing his family again.

And thankfully, Hiro was right.  Fred met Hiro and Baymax out in the backyard with the same enthusiasm as always, pumping his fists and whooping about the sheer number of pancakes that were nearly ready for consumption in the kitchen.  He offered Hiro some pajama clothes to change into, since he obviously couldn’t keep wearing his super suit.  When Hiro thanked him for doing him such a solid, Fred just waved him off and told him to hurry up.  

“Pancake party waits for no man!”

That got Hiro to grin a little, and he could’ve sworn it felt like the most genuine expression he’d had on his face in weeks.  Once he was changed and Baymax’s suit was removed, they both waltzed into the kitchen like they’d been doing it for years, Hiro taking the seat closest to Fred.  He was too busy being grateful for the change of pace that he didn’t think to wonder what Fred had been doing on his phone just before Hiro came in and sat down.  And without needing to be prompted, he dug right into the breakfast feast.


	6. Confrontation

Today, Fred was Hiro's personal savior.

After pancakes they filled the morning up with video games and comic books and brainstorming ideas for suit upgrades for the whole team – which shouldn't have been as surprisingly easy as it was, considering the scope of Fred's imagination. Either way, Hiro's tablet was bursting with ideas and designs, and he couldn't be any more pumped about actually putting it all together. It would take time, since he did still have his school projects to wrap up, but that was okay. He'd be able to go over the designs and calculate everything exactly before just diving right in, which was always a good thing given their line of work. He didn't want any accidents.

He couldn’t remember falling asleep. But when he woke up, it was from probably the most restful sleep he’d had in a good long while. It might’ve at least partially been because he’d apparently fallen asleep against Baymax’s arm on the couch in Fred’s room, with his tablet in his lap and his stylus still between his fingers. And though he was kind of ashamed to admit it, there was definitely the fact that they were away from home. Fred hadn’t asked about what was going on - yet, anyway - and with the way he was behaving, Hiro had to guess that he wasn’t planning on doing so any time soon. It was nice, having a friend like him.

Fred was gone when he woke up though – off to attend his Classical Literature class, according to the text he'd shot Hiro's phone – but that was okay. Seeing that had reminded Hiro that he was supposed to attend a lecture on biomimetics, but he'd clearly slept right through it. Baymax hadn't woken him because he hadn't completed his much needed (and promised) full cycle of sleep. Better mood or not, Hiro had just slumped back into the couch with a sigh, pulled out his phone, and started searching for the next time the lecturer would be in town.

“Hiro. Now that you are awake, you should know you have a visitor.”

That made Hiro look over at Baymax in a mix of confusion and surprise. “What? Baymax, we're at _Fred's_ house. There can't be a visitor here for me.”

“Tadashi has been waiting for you to wake up for- two hours and thirty-nine minutes.” Hiro's heart just about stopped. “He is currently in- the study. I am contacting him to come to this room now.”

An image of Tadashi's face cropped into a circle appeared on Baymax's chest, and Hiro practically threw himself on Baymax to stop him. Some part of him had known that doing so wouldn't work, that pressing his hands against the vinyl wasn't going to hit any buttons or change anything. It was a projected image, and that was it. So when Baymax gave him that easy chime of “Your brother has been contacted,” Hiro sank back with his hands in his hair, eyes wide as he chewed anxiously on his lip.

Fred. _Fred_ had to have been the one who did this. He'd been poking at his phone while they brainstormed, but Hiro hadn't thought anything of it. Fred must've been texting Tadashi to let him know that everything was okay.

Okay, scratch that first thought. Fred was definitely _not_ Hiro's personal savior today. Fred was a cheerful, pancake-wielding snake.

Hiro quickly considered his options. He could suit Baymax up and take off right out of the bedroom, putting in that skylight that Fred liked to talk about having one day – except the suit was down in one of the guest rooms near the door to the backyard, and they wouldn't make it there before Tadashi came around. Hiro could find a good place to hide – one of the suits in the glass cases might be a good spot. Except Fred might actually blow a gasket over that, and Baymax wasn't easily hidden without his charging station - Where had he put that, anyway? He couldn't even remember. None of the options really mattered in the end, because within minutes Tadashi was standing in the doorway to Fred's room, staring right at him.

For a long moment, that was all they could do. Stare at each other. Baymax was the only one who said anything, but it was really just his usual greeting for Tadashi and not much else. But that was fine. Hiro didn't really have anything that he _wanted_ to say, not right at that moment, not to Tadashi. He'd actually been having a good day, the first one in weeks, and now it all came screeching to a halt. And it was especially upsetting that of all the people in the world that Hiro had thought could make his mood drop so sharply, it had to be Tadashi. He'd never once imagined that it could even _be_ Tadashi.

When they finally spoke up, it was… harsh.  Broken.  Tadashi kept his voice calm and even, which was infuriating in its own special way, and made Hiro keep his back turned and his head pressed against Baymax’s vinyl, needing what little bit of support that offered him.  Why was this so much harder than fighting crime on the street?  Apprehending muggers, busting up drug rings, those were things he could definitely do.  And yet Hiro couldn’t even talk to his own brother, and it filled him with such shame and frustration that his face felt hot.  

Tadashi wanted to know what he’d been thinking, staying out late, not coming home, not answering anyone’s texts or phone calls or _anything_.  He kept saying that mom and dad had been going nuts, that they were terrified and _did Hiro have any idea what he was putting them through._ Hiro didn’t really have answers for him, and the few that he did have weren’t flying over with him very well.   _I was out with Baymax and went to Fred’s instead since it was late._  Called out.   _I didn’t want to wake anyone._  They were still up, they had left messages, he would've known if he'd checked them.   _My phone was off._  Tadashi knew Hiro would never do that, demanded to know why on earth he'd even want to.  Every reply he gave was countered, and Hiro couldn’t tell through that calm tone of voice if Tadashi was angry and accusing or just plain concerned.  He was starting to wonder if there was even a difference.

He squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his face more into Baymax’s body like that could help him hide.  He could feel something inside him winding up tight, too tight to hold on to, and threatening to break at any moment. If he could just make Tadashi _stop_ for a second, just long enough for him to get it together... 

“Did you _want_ to worry us all out of our minds?  Is running off the new thing you do to upset us instead of going bot fighting?”

_Us._ That didn't used to include a mom and dad. “No! No, I just-”

Tadashi was edging his way closer. Hiro couldn't see him, but he could tell.  It made the wire inside him tighten.

“Then why stay out all night?”

“B-Because--”

“Why?  Why didn’t you just come _home_?”

_Home_.  That was when it snapped.

“Because that's not what it is anymore!!”  The words burst out of him in a rush and his face burned with guilt and shame.  “I didn’t  _want_  to go back there, okay?! I just didn’t want to!”

He still hadn’t turned around to look, but he could feel Tadashi’s eyes on him, could tell that his outburst made Tadashi stop in place.  The worst of it was that he could feel more words starting to come out like vomit and he had to press his head against Baymax’s belly just to keep it together.  He didn’t want to go back, not to that house full of strangers who expected him to do things that he just couldn’t do.  He didn’t fit there anymore, not like he used to when their family was small and perfectly imperfect.  He didn’t feel safe there.  It didn’t feel like home.  He had no idea how to deal with that, or how to fix it, or what he was supposed to do. It all just kept coming, just an endless stream of all the things he couldn't handle anymore, and he was stuttering and tripping over his words and talking so fast he was starting to hiccup (to which Baymax responded by laying a hand on his back).

Hiro’s tirade only broke off when he realized that he was sobbing so hard as he spoke that Baymax had felt the need to pick him up and hold him in place against him, waiting patiently for Hiro to reach a more calm state, one where he could breathe normally again.  It surprised him a little, but at the same time it didn’t.  Baymax was always there now to help him in times like this.  Even though he couldn’t empathize or really understand the kind of frustration Hiro was going through, he was always there for him.

It was with a sharp jolt in his gut that Hiro realized that Tadashi hadn’t quite been doing the same.

“Why do you hate them so much, Hiro?”

Tadashi’s words startled him, and he had to wipe at his face with his sleeve before answering just to make sure he hadn’t misheard him over one of his own tearful hiccups.  “Wh-What?”

“Why do you hate our parents?”  

His brother was staring at him again, and Hiro didn’t know what to make of the expression he wore.  Displeased?  Upset?  Confused?  Worried?  He wasn’t entirely sure.  But this at least was a question that Hiro had an answer for.

“I d-don’t,” came Hiro’s reply, muffled by his sleeve as he wiped his face again.  And that much was true.  Hiro had a hard time meeting and connecting with people, which is what happened after years of dealing with a long list of bullies.  Over the years he’d built up a wall around himself, to keep most people away from him, and he’d only just recently discovered what kind of good things could happen when he let people in.  And somehow, it was especially difficult with his parents.  

“I just-- I don’t know how to- to act around them.  I-I don’t know how to _have_ parents.”

For a long moment, Tadashi seemed to consider that answer, and the longer he stayed silent the more sure Hiro was that he’d ruined all of this.  Lately his brother had been making a habit of taking their parents’ side.  Whenever Hiro got awkward around them, whenever he took the long paths through the room to avoid getting too close, Tadashi had given him those looks of disapproval.  He was sure that Tadashi was wearing one of them now, probably mentally accusing Hiro of being a horrible person for not knowing how to love his own parents. And all Hiro could think was that it wasn't his fault that he didn't know anybody else his age, teenagers who had proper relationships with their parents, that he could learn from by example. All he had was the TV, and there was no telling how much of that, if any of it, was even real. So he clenched his jaw and braced himself for the blow, biting down hard on his lip.

Then finally, Tadashi spoke up.  “I think _they_ need to hear that.”

 


	7. Shame

Hiro had only ever heard about the so-called “walk of shame.” He knew what it was, of course, but no one ever really wanted to talk about it around him since he was so much younger than the rest of his friends. Which he thought was stupid, and he pointed out as much to them pretty frequently.

As Tadashi took Hiro home that afternoon, he decided that _this_ was what a real walk of shame was.

They didn’t talk much, if at all, as they headed home on Tadashi’s moped. Hiro sat behind his brother as usual, holding onto Baymax like a security blanket as he’d been tucked away into the charging station that Tadashi had brought with him. The whole way he just stewed in his own anxious thoughts about what would happen once they were back at the Lucky Cat Cafe. If Tadashi was this upset with him, then Aunt Cass was probably a furious wreck and would immediately start up some kind of scolding about pulling a stunt like this. And as for his parents… Hiro didn’t know _what_ to expect from them. They were probably worried, he knew that much. But what would they _do_? He’d seen his fair share of reality TV and he knew that some parents out there were the type to find real punishments for misbehavior. Some freaked out like crazy over things like this, and some just kind of shrugged and went “What am I going to do with you?” Hiro didn’t even know what kind of _people_ his parents were, let alone know what their parenting strategies were. He had no any real guesses, and that alone filled him with more anxiety than anything else.

It even took him a moment after they’d come to a stop right outside the cafe front to get up the courage to dismount the moped. Maybe he could still wave them off, just say that he’s fine, say that he’s sorry for worrying everyone, do all of that... But Tadashi would expect more and would probably keep him in place until he managed to force out something else.

_They need to hear that._ That’s what Tadashi had said before he pulled both Hiro and Baymax out of Fred’s house and started him on the walk of shame. The more he thought about what Tadashi wanted him to say, the more Hiro didn’t want to say it. It was awful. It felt that way, and he was sure that it sounded that way, and he didn’t want his parents to know how badly he was failing not only as their son, but as a person dealing with people who cared about him.

“Come on, knucklehead.”

Hiro wasn’t sure how long he’d been sitting there staring at the doors to the cafe, but it was long enough that Tadashi had to prompt him with a light shove at his head. One glance over at his brother told him that Tadashi was smiling a little, and he wasn't entirely sure why that would be. Biting down on his lip, Hiro got down off of the moped and followed his brother inside and up the stairs, his hold on Baymax tightening as he got ready to face the music.

The moment he saw Aunt Cass in the living room, when she turned around to look at him, all wide-eyes and worry lines in her face, Hiro knew what was about to happen. But before she could move, before Hiro could get out his apology to her and prepare himself to turn and face his parents to see what they would do to him, both his mom and dad rushed in to crush him in a bear hug.

His reaction was immediate. He completely froze up, eyes wide, Baymax slipping from his grasp to the floor and he practically stopped breathing for a minute. Logically he knew that this was normal. Parents got worried about things like their youngest son being out of the house all night without letting anyone know. That was perfectly normal. And yet Hiro was silently having a mild panic attack about it. All he could think about was the fact that they still felt like strangers, that he didn’t know what to do about this, how to react to them burying their faces into his hair and neck and--

They were crying.

Realizing this drove out Hiro’s panic, replacing it instead with confusion and concern and he found himself searching the fabric of his mother’s cardigan for answers. Answers which he got in another moment, words mumbled into his ear between sobs that wracked his mother’s body so entirely Hiro was almost afraid she would shatter into a million pieces. They’d been worried. More than that, they’d been _terrified_. They felt like the worst parents in the world for letting things get this bad, for not doing a better job of taking care of them, for not being able to connect with Hiro the way they wanted to, for being afraid of breaking him if they tried to push themselves too close to him.

They loved him, and they were sorry for making him hate them, and they would do better this time if Hiro would just give them another chance to try, _please_ let them start over, they could still figure this out if he would let them.

His mother was crying the hardest. She spoke through harsh sobs, clinging to Hiro like a lifeline with her face in his neck and shoulder. His father seemed calmer but just as sad, and he had one arm around his mother’s shoulders while the other hand moved soothingly over Hiro’s head and through his hair. When he spoke it was in a softer voice, and his eyes searched Hiro’s desperately, like he was trying to find some sign that told him they were getting through.

“Don’t give up on us,” they pleaded desperately. “We love you so much. Please don’t give up on us yet.”

For a moment, Hiro was just stunned. He had no idea that they’d been equally as frightened of not getting this right. But they loved him, and even though Hiro had felt like there was simply no way he’d be able to connect to them, they weren’t giving up. And as Hiro’s eyes found Tadashi’s… he felt like he finally got it. He'd been too headstrong, too stubbornly convinced that there was simply no way he could be so blindly accepted and loved by anyone, to open himself up any more than an inch. Well, now the doors were flung open. The dam inside him broke, and all of the guilt and shame burst out of Hiro with a broken sob of his own as he returned his parents’ hug, his face burrowing into their shoulders to hide his reddening face. All he could do was apologize, the words muffled into the fabric of their clothes.

He wanted to admit that he didn’t hate them, that he _did_ want to spend time with them and have stories to share just like everyone else did, that he was sorry for constantly avoiding them the way he had been... but the words didn’t make it past his throat. They just trailed off into sniffles and hiccups, and it just felt even more shameful that simply speaking was so difficult to do. All he had was an endless stream of “I’m sorry”s. He couldn’t manage anything else, but as he felt their hold on him tighten, as he felt Tadashi and Aunt Cass join them and murmur words of comfort, he was suddenly very sure that it was enough.

 


	8. Education

Hiro was learning a lot of things about himself.

He’d inherited his social anxiety from his quiet, nerdy father. It took them time to get used to being around other people, and most of the time when they all went out somewhere together, they were the ones who stuck together at the back. It was the science of things that engaged them and helped break them into a situation, and they got excited over a lot of the same things. Often when Hiro talked about something they were covering in class, Dad was the one who listened with the most rapt attention, the same light in his eyes that Aunt Cass and Tadashi said lived in his own.

He’d inherited his sass and sarcasm from his bubbly, larger than life mother. It was always one of them that were the first to hand out some lightly biting remark in response to someone else’s, and when they sassed each other it turned into a miniature contest. Hiro had gotten his competitiveness from her, too, which sometimes made their sass-offs more intense than they probably should have been. They laughed at a lot of the same things, and whenever they did they had a moment of looking at each other before bursting out laughing all over again.

He was also learning a lot of things about his parents.

Dad liked watching a lot of the same shows as Hiro did, so he took it upon himself to introduce him to some of his favorites. They’d spend Sunday mornings together in the garage with whichever program they’d agreed on blasting on the TV while they worked on different robotics projects. Mom and Tadashi joined them sometimes, but it was slowly turning into a weekly ritual for just the two of them.

Mom loved horror movies just like Hiro did, and was introducing him to a lot of the older classics. Whenever the whole family was in the living room watching the latest B-film horror, it was either Mom or Hiro that let out the jolting sound that frightened Aunt Cass out of her seat. Then they’d nearly fall over in laughter, and even though Dad and Tadashi usually felt bad about it, they’d laugh as well.

Dad didn’t like it when Hiro made rude comments, even off-handed ones that were meant to be jokes.

Mom hated when Hiro tried to brush off an issue that she wanted him to talk about.

Dad was usually pretty easy to please. Mom was a lot harder to impress.

Neither of them understood Hiro’s taste in music (“It just sounds like a lot of noise!”).

They both loved that he fought crime in his free time. But they both insisted that he keep his phone on when he did, and that he be as careful as was physically possible. It was a huge relief for both of them to realize that Baymax was always with him.

It was a process, and it took effort. Everyone had been in a lot of pain, all for different reasons, and they were still healing from the wounds that had been inflicted on them all. Tadashi and Aunt Cass each apologized; they should have been more understanding, they should have been the ones to help bridge the gap between the disparate family members. But no one really felt that anyone could actually shoulder all of the blame for what had happened. They had each been caught up in their own minds and their own worries, and that was no one's fault.

But still, once Tadashi and Aunt Cass made their apologies, they redoubled their every effort to help them; and slowly but surely it was working. They were slowly discovering each other and finding common links to hook onto. There were times when Hiro felt like he’d messed something up again and started shying away, but Tadashi always found a way to coax him back out of it. Aunt Cass was the one who’d talk to his parents about some of the problems Hiro had growing up - the bullies in school or his tiny number of friends, for example - so that they were all caught up and knew how to handle things accordingly. Tadashi filled in a lot of the gaps, but Hiro was slowly getting better with talking about some of that stuff with them as well. They were working things out. They were coming together as a family. They made new memories together everyday, ones that someday Hiro would be able to look back on and laugh about with them the same way Aunt Cass and Tadashi did.

"It's better this way, right?" Tadashi asked one evening, as Hiro helped him do the dishes after dinner.

He pursed his lips in thought, glanced back to where Mom and Dad were laughing with Aunt Cass (something about who was the older sister _now_ ), then turned back to Tadashi with a shrug and a half-smile. "Meh. I guess."

Tadashi responded to that with a grin and a fond shove to Hiro's head, which he only complained about because Tadashi's hands were wet and covered in soap suds. Which had then promptly started a soap and water fight at the sink. Which all of the adults had to run over to break up, only to get swept up in it, too.

Hiro Hamada had only known his parents for a few short months. But at least now he could get to know them a little better everyday.

 


End file.
